








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 419 | 19% |
| Smokes | 332 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,044 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JadeXO | 57% | 104 |
| #2 | CAPTAIN BEEPBOP | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | FRIENDSHIP | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Kibikita | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | LowestSolution | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Powered by Lovense :3 | +4.15 | 73 | 21 |
| #2 | LowestSolution | +1.92 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | FRIENDSHIP | +0.66 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | JadeXO | +0.33 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | Kibikita | +0.13 | 56 | 32 |





