








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 109 | 11% |
| Smokes | 255 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 378 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,398 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LowestSolution | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | FRIENDSHIP | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Powered by Lovense :3 | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN BEEPBOP | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | JadeXO | 40% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Powered by Lovense :3 | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | CAPTAIN BEEPBOP | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | JadeXO | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Goon Goblin | asio.gov.au | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | LowestSolution | 3 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Powered by Lovense :3 | +5.29 | 70 | 13 |
| #2 | JadeXO | +3.47 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | FRIENDSHIP | +2.52 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | LowestSolution | +2.31 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Caboose | -0.86 | 9 | 56 |





