








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2875 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1778 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1826 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2146 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,851 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wapamwamba #1 | 60% | 163 |
| #2 | cpx | 59% | 162 |
| #3 | dog | 58% | 198 |
| #4 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | darkniesz | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | darkniesz | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | cloint | 48% | 77 |
| #7 | Wahn シ | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | Ghost | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Wapamwamba #1 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | cpx | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | darkniesz | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 922 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Wapamwamba #1 | 587 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | cpx | 396 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | cloint | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | darkniesz | 166 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arovtoB | +1.86 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | darkniesz | +1.34 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | dog | +1.18 | 77 | 76 |
| #4 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | +0.52 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | cpx | -0.17 | 66 | 68 |





