








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 22% |
| Smokes | 866 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 838 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,275 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jᴏɴɴᴇʀsᴏɴ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | cloint | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | cpx | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Wapamwamba #1 | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | dog | 58% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | arovtoB | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Wapamwamba #1 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 420 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | arovtoB | 288 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Wapamwamba #1 | 167 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | darkniesz | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | cpx | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | +1.62 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | darkniesz | +1.43 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | arovtoB | +0.96 | 58 | 73 |
| #4 | dog | +0.57 | 77 | 79 |
| #5 | cpx | -0.34 | 66 | 69 |





