








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9349 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7065 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7346 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6868 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,137 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | arovtoB | 60% | 163 |
| #3 | dog | 55% | 227 |
| #4 | cpx | 52% | 621 |
| #5 | cloint | 47% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | arovtoB | 60% | 163 |
| #3 | dog | 55% | 227 |
| #4 | cpx | 52% | 621 |
| #5 | cloint | 47% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | cpx | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | arovtoB | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | cloint | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cpx | 1587 | 0.12 | 39 min |
| #2 | dog | 937 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | arovtoB | 682 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #4 | cloint | 567 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arovtoB | +2.40 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | +1.53 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | dog | +0.98 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | cpx | +0.33 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | Wapamwamba #1 | -0.57 | 66 | 75 |





