








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1971 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1532 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1610 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2205 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,540 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | arovtoB | 48% | 77 |
| #3 | dog | 47% | 95 |
| #4 | Wapamwamba #1 | 47% | 203 |
| #5 | cpx | 47% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | arovtoB | 48% | 77 |
| #3 | dog | 47% | 95 |
| #4 | Wapamwamba #1 | 47% | 203 |
| #5 | cpx | 47% | 202 |
| #6 | darkniesz | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wapamwamba #1 | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | dog | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | cpx | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | arovtoB | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wapamwamba #1 | 986 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | cpx | 612 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | dog | 483 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #4 | arovtoB | 346 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | darkniesz | 55 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometime[SSJ]♕ | +2.71 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | arovtoB | +1.85 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | darkniesz | +1.23 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | cpx | +0.48 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | dog | +0.44 | 82 | 75 |





