








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 28% |
| Smokes | 292 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 237 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,470 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ch0zen | 43% | 21 |
| #3 | hehehe siuuu | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Cereal enthusiast | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Beyoncé Murray | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cereal enthusiast | 1 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ch0zen | +4.89 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | Beyoncé Murray | +1.12 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | +1.06 | 90 | 56 |
| #4 | YEP COCK | +0.75 | 67 | 50 |
| #5 | Cereal enthusiast | -0.63 | 29 | 57 |





