








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1049 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 616 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,354 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cactus gaming | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Cereal enthusiast | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | hehehe siuuu | 45% | 51 |
| #6 | YEP COCK | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hehehe siuuu | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Cereal enthusiast | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Beyoncé Murray | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | YEP COCK | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cereal enthusiast | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 149 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Beyoncé Murray | 142 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | cactus gaming | 118 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | hehehe siuuu | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beyoncé Murray | +3.11 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | ch0zen | +1.90 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | hehehe siuuu | +0.26 | 61 | 28 |
| #4 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | +0.14 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | cactus gaming | -0.21 | 66 | 50 |





