








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4702 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3529 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3299 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,682 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilma Dickfitt | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | Liquiduck | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | JoshR | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | Solidgoose | 61% | 136 |
| #5 | ✪ LoderoYT ⭕⃤ | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Feathers McGraw | 58% | 36 |
| #8 | Adster | 55% | 107 |
| #9 | YcL | 54% | 170 |
| #10 | Knowspass | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | ch0zen | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YcL | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Adster | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ChoChoNut | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Solidgoose | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | JoshR | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChoChoNut | 457 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Adster | 449 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | YcL | 419 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | JoshR | 315 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Solidgoose | 292 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ch0zen | +1.43 | 90 | 43 |
| #2 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | +1.24 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | ChoChoNut | +1.12 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | JoshR | +0.93 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Wilma Dickfitt | +0.88 | 64 | 64 |





