








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 112 | 27% |
| Smokes | 103 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 65 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 135 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,227 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sus | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | ch0zen | 45% | 51 |
| #7 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Beyoncé Murray | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | YEP COCK | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cereal enthusiast | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | cactus gaming | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Beyoncé Murray | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | YEP COCK | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ch0zen | 164 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | cactus gaming | 109 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Beyoncé Murray | 95 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cereal enthusiast | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | sus | 79 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beyoncé Murray | +3.17 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | :)) | +2.68 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | ch0zen | +1.79 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Cereal enthusiast | +1.03 | 44 | 44 |
| #5 | hehehe siuuu | +0.26 | 62 | 28 |





