








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 134 | 6% |
| Smokes | 777 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 586 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,825 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Yoda with AK | 44% | 84 |
| #6 | ✪ Floppy<3 | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | Jan1z | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | Schattenhauch | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Masterst4r | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda with AK | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Masterst4r | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda with AK | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Masterst4r | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Floppy<3 | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Schattenhauch | 24 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | YanniKoff | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schattenhauch | +3.98 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | ✪ Floppy<3 | +3.70 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Masterst4r | +2.89 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | Jan1z | +1.55 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | Pumi | +1.03 | 72 | 53 |





