








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4370 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4119 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4175 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,455 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kev | 51% | 78 |
| #7 | Yamete Senpai UwU | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | -Pax | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | dez | 44% | 178 |
| #10 | je suis bad | 37% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parasyte | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Jamba Juice | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | kev | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | dez | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | je suis bad | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bam | +2.99 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | Jamba Juice | +2.09 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | Paradise | +1.00 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | parasyte | +0.90 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Yamete Senpai UwU | +0.48 | 76 | 56 |





