








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 25% |
| Smokes | 621 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 145 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,321 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | kev | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | dez | 42% | 55 |
| #4 | Paradise | 37% | 87 |
| #5 | Jamba Juice | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dez | 42% | 55 |
| #4 | Paradise | 37% | 87 |
| #5 | Jamba Juice | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | zoe | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | jennifer hứa | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradise | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | u | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | dez | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | kev | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dez | 292 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Paradise | 275 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | zoe | 112 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | kev | 106 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | u | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamba Juice | +4.27 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Paradise | +2.19 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | dez | +0.66 | 87 | 69 |
| #4 | u | +0.05 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | jennifer hứa | -0.09 | 78 | 35 |





