








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1035 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 892 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8496 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5864 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6126 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4854 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,943,841 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aki | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | mikromakkara | 50% | 198 |
| #3 | Kaap0nen | 50% | 531 |
| #4 | vexi | 50% | 451 |
| #5 | Barcotierra | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | vexi | 50% | 451 |
| #5 | Barcotierra | 49% | 77 |
| #6 | Edvi | 47% | 332 |
| #7 | TILIPINUPPI | 44% | 123 |
| #8 | persai1 | 41% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 32 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | vexi | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Edvi | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | mikromakkara | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Barcotierra | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 2592 | 0.22 | 81 min |
| #2 | mikromakkara | 1106 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #3 | vexi | 1072 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #4 | Edvi | 814 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #5 | aki | 456 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | +1.00 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Kaap0nen | +1.00 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | persai1 | +0.71 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | vexi | -0.72 | 57 | 58 |
| #5 | aki | -0.87 | 75 | 69 |





