








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4017 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2724 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2381 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,797 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aki | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | persai1 | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Jeriko | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Capo | 50% | 198 |
| #5 | Edvi | 48% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tomppa | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | Kaap0nen | 48% | 184 |
| #8 | umppa | 47% | 32 |
| #9 | vexi | 46% | 147 |
| #10 | TILIPINUPPI | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Capo | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | vexi | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Edvi | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | aki | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 904 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #2 | Capo | 544 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | vexi | 368 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Edvi | 301 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | aki | 197 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | persai1 | +1.39 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Kaap0nen | +1.30 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Capo | +1.29 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | Jeriko | +1.29 | 53 | 71 |
| #5 | umppa | +0.34 | 62 | 50 |





