








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 26% |
| Smokes | 683 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1294 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1231 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,374 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aki | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | persai1 | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Kaap0nen | 47% | 126 |
| #4 | Edvi | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | mikromakkara | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kaap0nen | 47% | 126 |
| #4 | Edvi | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | mikromakkara | 46% | 61 |
| #6 | Capo | 44% | 123 |
| #7 | vexi | 44% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | mikromakkara | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | vexi | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Capo | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Edvi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 607 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | mikromakkara | 352 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | Capo | 340 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | vexi | 282 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Edvi | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | persai1 | +1.77 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Kaap0nen | +1.62 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | Capo | +1.28 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | aki | +0.36 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | Edvi | -0.28 | 72 | 65 |





