








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4539 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3469 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6241 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3969 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,406 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aki | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | Allan | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Kaap0nen | 50% | 326 |
| #4 | Rigyy | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | mikromakkara | 48% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mikromakkara | 48% | 131 |
| #6 | persai1 | 47% | 155 |
| #7 | Capo | 47% | 332 |
| #8 | TILIPINUPPI | 46% | 69 |
| #9 | vexi | 46% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Kaap0nen | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | vexi | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | aki | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | persai1 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0nen | 1561 | 0.22 | 45 min |
| #2 | Capo | 897 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | mikromakkara | 706 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #4 | vexi | 505 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | persai1 | 447 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | +1.32 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | persai1 | +0.96 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | Kaap0nen | +0.84 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Allan | +0.19 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | Edvi | -0.62 | 74 | 65 |





