








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 569 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 181 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5782 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7440 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6554 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2361 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,817,759 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 48% | 443 |
| #8 | -=SHW-ME1ST0R CH3DD0R=- | 46% | 56 |
| #9 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 46% | 256 |
| #10 | Igra Igroi | 46% | 193 |
| #11 | dmm =) | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 27 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | nos | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Igra Igroi | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | .moeptier | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nos | 553 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 467 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 422 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | Igra Igroi | 390 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | .joph` | 212 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roBOT | +2.06 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | KellogsFrosty | +1.99 | 54 | 68 |
| #3 | .joph` | +1.23 | 47 | 58 |
| #4 | .moeptier | +1.01 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | ホールラバー | +0.43 | 52 | 66 |





