








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2142 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3278 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2729 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1921 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,904,415 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nos | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | .joph` | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | .moeptier | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | -=SHW-ME1ST0R CH3DD0R=- | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 46% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ホールラバー | 25 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | nos | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | .moeptier | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ホールラバー | 477 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 324 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 191 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | nos | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | .joph` | 114 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .moeptier | +1.61 | 50 | 52 |
| #2 | .joph` | +1.14 | 50 | 55 |
| #3 | Igra Igroi | +0.94 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | ホールラバー | +0.24 | 52 | 61 |
| #5 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | -0.22 | 61 | 68 |





