








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 355 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6309 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3682 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 6750 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6143 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,247,173 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igra Igroi | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | roBOT | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | KellogsFrosty | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | .moeptier | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | ホールラバー | 54% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ホールラバー | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Studix3 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | roBOT | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ホールラバー | 548 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Meinhardt Erschwanz | 291 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | 彡[Zιst0r]彡 | 239 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Studix3 | 156 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Igra Igroi | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roBOT | +2.16 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | KellogsFrosty | +2.11 | 56 | 67 |
| #3 | Igra Igroi | +1.57 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | Studix3 | +1.24 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | .moeptier | +1.13 | 47 | 52 |





