










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 817 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4352 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2752 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3167 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3100 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,778 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmon | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | maqu1na 💔 | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | jacki | 59% | 109 |
| #4 | Vlad | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | GitanoVirtuoso | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Matthew | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | Niketine ツ | 50% | 64 |
| #10 | r1ppu | 48% | 29 |
| #11 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | Jordanz | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Matthew | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Orroxx | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Vlad | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | 448 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Vlad | 363 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 346 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Orroxx | 209 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | r1ppu | 153 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | +1.58 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | MRNNNNNN | +1.19 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | Vlad | +0.92 | 84 | 75 |
| #4 | bmon | +0.66 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | maqu1na 💔 | +0.46 | 65 | 71 |





