








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5638 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2491 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2656 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3213 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,113 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | Niketine ツ | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | GAMUSINO ILLUMINATI | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | MRNNNNNN | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | J0$ef | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | 13 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | MRNNNNNN | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | GAMUSINO ILLUMINATI | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | J0$ef | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRNNNNNN | 430 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | jacki | 184 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | GAMUSINO ILLUMINATI | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | J0$ef | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Niketine ツ | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | +2.31 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | Vlad | +1.96 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | MRNNNNNN | +1.03 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Niketine ツ | -0.29 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | GAMUSINO ILLUMINATI | -1.19 | 43 | 79 |





