








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2278 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1939 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2615 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2832 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,446 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlad | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | Orroxx | 54% | 202 |
| #4 | jacki | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | MRNNNNNN | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | Orroxx | 54% | 202 |
| #4 | jacki | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | MRNNNNNN | 50% | 64 |
| #6 | Matthew | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orroxx | 27 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | MRNNNNNN | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | jacki | 10 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Matthew | 7 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orroxx | 853 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | MRNNNNNN | 423 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 197 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | jacki | 157 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vlad | 141 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacki | +1.65 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Orroxx | +1.57 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | MRNNNNNN | +1.35 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Vlad | +1.33 | 86 | 72 |
| #5 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | +1.23 | 79 | 68 |





