








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1810 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3568 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2362 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 438 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,552 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LalaGtr | 52% | 290 |
| #2 | Arnbold | 49% | 136 |
| #3 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 47% | 120 |
| #4 | NiCi | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Lemmiwinks | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LalaGtr | 52% | 290 |
| #2 | Arnbold | 49% | 136 |
| #3 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 47% | 120 |
| #4 | NiCi | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Lemmiwinks | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arnbold | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | LalaGtr | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Lemmiwinks | 4 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 411 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | LalaGtr | 262 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | Arnbold | 224 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | NiCi | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lemmiwinks | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triggernuts | +2.16 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | +1.42 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | NiCi | -0.39 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | LalaGtr | -0.97 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Arnbold | -2.02 | 43 | 52 |





