








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 79 | 28% |
| Smokes | 70 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 114 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 23 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,978 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slivz | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | LucaZ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | NiCi | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | Arnbold | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NiCi | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | Arnbold | 35% | 37 |
| #6 | LalaGtr | 29% | 38 |
| #7 | Triggernuts | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arnbold | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Triggernuts | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | NiCi | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | LalaGtr | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Arnbold | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | LalaGtr | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | NiCi | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | LucaZ | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triggernuts | +2.70 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | NiCi | +1.83 | 52 | 57 |
| #3 | Staplerfahrer Klausi | +1.38 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | Slivz | +0.27 | 44 | 44 |
| #5 | LucaZ | -0.07 | 42 | 54 |





