








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 938 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2631 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1956 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3040 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1466 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,019 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHaloupa batman | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | BigXThaPlug | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Nooby Booby | 50% | 118 |
| #5 | morty | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BigXThaPlug | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Nooby Booby | 50% | 118 |
| #5 | morty | 49% | 73 |
| #6 | dozer_____davee | 42% | 71 |
| #7 | Chef | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nooby Booby | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | morty | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | dozer_____davee | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Chef | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | CHaloupa batman | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nooby Booby | 645 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | dozer_____davee | 253 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | morty | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chef | 90 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nooby Booby | +2.44 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | BigXThaPlug | +1.74 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | morty | +1.70 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | dozer_____davee | +0.45 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace | -0.48 | 63 | 57 |





