








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3505 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4314 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3020 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3925 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,370 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egahn | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Dumpster Fire | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | W1LDG | 58% | 175 |
| #4 | Cinna | 57% | 224 |
| #5 | atom | 55% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | W1LDG | 58% | 175 |
| #4 | Cinna | 57% | 224 |
| #5 | atom | 55% | 235 |
| #6 | Timbis | 53% | 206 |
| #7 | Jaden | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timbis | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | W1LDG | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | atom | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Cinna | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Dumpster Fire | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cinna | 1299 | 0.27 | 38 min |
| #2 | atom | 953 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #3 | W1LDG | 555 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Timbis | 432 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Dumpster Fire | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumpster Fire | +1.95 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | W1LDG | +1.48 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Jaden | +0.80 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Timbis | +0.75 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | atom | +0.08 | 87 | 62 |





