








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5486 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4959 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2086 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3694 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,607 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | sweetish | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Dumpster Fire | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | W1LDG | 59% | 276 |
| #5 | Cinna | 57% | 371 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | W1LDG | 59% | 276 |
| #5 | Cinna | 57% | 371 |
| #6 | Timbis | 56% | 318 |
| #7 | Kapoya | 55% | 235 |
| #8 | Aerexon | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timbis | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | W1LDG | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Kapoya | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Cinna | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | sweetish | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cinna | 2021 | 0.26 | 58 min |
| #2 | W1LDG | 857 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #3 | Timbis | 641 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | Kapoya | 499 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | sweetish | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1LDG | +1.63 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Dumpster Fire | +1.32 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Timbis | +0.82 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Aerexon | +0.79 | 87 | 59 |
| #5 | atom | +0.71 | 86 | 62 |





