








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 515 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9160 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7560 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3378 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6071 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,552 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 490 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumpster Fire | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | W1LDG | 58% | 265 |
| #3 | Kapoya | 57% | 224 |
| #4 | atom | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | Timbis | 56% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kapoya | 57% | 224 |
| #4 | atom | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | Timbis | 56% | 280 |
| #6 | ElectricSweetPotato | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | sweetish | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timbis | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | W1LDG | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Kapoya | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | atom | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | sweetish | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atom | 1566 | 0.20 | 39 min |
| #2 | W1LDG | 806 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Timbis | 563 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #4 | Kapoya | 513 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | sweetish | 194 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1LDG | +1.61 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Dumpster Fire | +0.99 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Timbis | +0.72 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | atom | +0.59 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | Cinna | +0.56 | 78 | 68 |





