








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3118 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3455 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4401 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,451 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiredjr | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | RomB | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | [Ketsuppi pöydällä] Piiska | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Weaselface | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Fatty_Clown | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weaselface | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | nouska_ | 103 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fatty_Clown | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cl0wN | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | RomB | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatty_Clown | +0.96 | 50 | 59 |
| #2 | ㄒoma卄awk Vandalize | +0.77 | 35 | 74 |
| #3 | Cl0wN | +0.72 | 50 | 60 |
| #4 | RomB | +0.27 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | Weaselface | -0.42 | 29 | 65 |





