








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5248 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4050 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7602 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3865 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,772,956 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuuskis | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Zuxin | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | 犬神(いぬかみ) Inukami | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | JUIKKI | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | apples | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Perkhele | 52% | 138 |
| #8 | papparainen | 51% | 150 |
| #9 | jakeh | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | Piippo | 49% | 164 |
| #11 | Xerox1065 | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buubibi | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Perkhele | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 犬神(いぬかみ) Inukami | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Piippo | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | papparainen | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buubibi | 856 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | papparainen | 582 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Piippo | 424 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Xerox1065 | 284 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Perkhele | 207 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuuskis | +4.46 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | jakeh | +1.91 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | papparainen | +1.73 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Perkhele | +1.30 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | 犬神(いぬかみ) Inukami | +1.20 | 82 | 53 |





