








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1776 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2080 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1887 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2276 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,035 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 913 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byte | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | crypticcc | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | N1ps | 60% | 85 |
| #4 | cryptic | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | hutch | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | hutch | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | byte | 10 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | rem1cks | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | N1ps | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 404 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | hutch | 282 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | jxice. | 225 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | N1ps | 168 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | bop | 138 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byte | +4.25 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | hutch | +3.67 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | N1ps | +2.80 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | bop | +2.63 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | rem1cks | +1.88 | 88 | 71 |





