








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3265 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2913 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,884 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Cheeto | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Jaycubby | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | SGT. Beker | 55% | 153 |
| #4 | Kyros | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | Prussia | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Prussia | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | Fallout | 48% | 194 |
| #7 | SquintEastwood | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | ✪ Joey ツ | 45% | 88 |
| #9 | Swegah | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SGT. Beker | 43 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Fallout | 25 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | ✪ Joey ツ | 20 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Kyros | 13 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Swegah | 13 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallout | 569 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | ✪ Joey ツ | 212 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | SGT. Beker | 184 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Prussia | 167 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Swegah | 135 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proletariis | +3.90 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Don Cheeto | +1.86 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Fallout | +0.97 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | SquintEastwood | -0.01 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | Swegah | -1.27 | 64 | 39 |





