








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2572 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2196 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1403 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,134 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | N0rTeX#1 | 50% | 18 |
| #16 | BJENK | 50% | 28 |
| #17 | Juxtaism | 50% | 34 |
| #18 | Hansi Flick | 42% | 31 |
| #19 | tomcrash | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jAw_sOmE | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | mooZ^ | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Lenny | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | toan | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Hansi Flick | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lenny | 550 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | toan | 253 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | mooZ^ | 183 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | jAw_sOmE | 165 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hansi Flick | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jAw_sOmE | +2.74 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Lenny | +2.63 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | VSN | +2.08 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | Conrick | +0.89 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | lind | +0.84 | 70 | 54 |





