








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4622 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3224 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2484 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3865 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,605,448 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ash1hara | 91% | 45 |
| #2 | mari | 86% | 36 |
| #3 | da1ge | 80% | 105 |
| #4 | anarchy | 76% | 76 |
| #5 | url0 | 74% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hehe | 52 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | xing ling | 48 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Lenda | 48 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | ..................... | 45 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | mat >_< wawawaw | 33 | 0.0224 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hehe | 1788 | 0.30 | 44 min |
| #2 | xing ling | 932 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #3 | ..................... | 756 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #4 | Lenda | 618 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #5 | - Cabe$inha | 467 | 0.47 | 10 min |





