








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 4% |
| Smokes | 673 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 55% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,149 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Microsoft Word | 66% | 67 |
| #2 | king | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | MasterN8 | 61% | 75 |
| #4 | PDF File | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Microsoft Word | 66% | 67 |
| #2 | king | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | MasterN8 | 61% | 75 |
| #4 | PDF File | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PDF File | 12 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | MasterN8 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Microsoft Word | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | king | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterN8 | 330 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Microsoft Word | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | PDF File | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | king | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king | +4.72 | 95 | 52 |
| #2 | MasterN8 | +3.63 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | cruzy | +1.86 | 72 | 29 |
| #4 | PDF File | +0.48 | 72 | 39 |
| #5 | Microsoft Word | -2.42 | 48 | 47 |





