








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 33% |
| Smokes | 844 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 831 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,853 of utility $279 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nova | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Anubis Warrior | 65% | 125 |
| #3 | cr0wn | 64% | 115 |
| #4 | Håkis | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | nomad | 63% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0wn | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Anubis Warrior | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | nomad | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Håkis | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomad | 976 | 0.35 | 25 min |
| #2 | cr0wn | 499 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Anubis Warrior | 414 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 160 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lil Mi | 42 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0wn | +4.42 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | nova | +3.97 | 93 | 37 |
| #3 | Anubis Warrior | +0.99 | 48 | 66 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | +0.69 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | nomad | +0.53 | 48 | 79 |





