








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3182 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3478 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2595 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2715 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,793,319 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cr0wn | 61% | 272 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 59% | 133 |
| #5 | nomad | 59% | 246 |
| #6 | Håkis | 51% | 67 |
| #7 | Lil Mi | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0wn | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | nomad | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ZebbeQ | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mystic | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Håkis | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomad | 1749 | 0.33 | 42 min |
| #2 | cr0wn | 1176 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #3 | Mystic | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 257 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lil Mi | 196 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0wn | +3.66 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Anubis Warrior | +0.72 | 51 | 64 |
| #3 | nomad | -0.08 | 46 | 77 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | -0.11 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | Håkis | -1.13 | 68 | 47 |





