








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 311 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4516 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4366 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2819 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3439 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,525 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 944 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nomad | 64% | 196 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 63% | 112 |
| #5 | Håkis | 61% | 46 |
| #6 | Anubis Warrior | 61% | 272 |
| #7 | Lil Mi | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anubis Warrior | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | nomad | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Mystic | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Håkis | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomad | 1378 | 0.32 | 33 min |
| #2 | Anubis Warrior | 806 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mystic | 231 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | ZebbeQ | 212 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lil Mi | 105 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0wn | +3.19 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Anubis Warrior | +0.31 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | ZebbeQ | -0.13 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | nomad | -0.40 | 46 | 77 |
| #5 | Håkis | -0.41 | 65 | 50 |





