








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1506 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1719 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,358 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | クソ神 | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | -Hifo- | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Prof.Leon | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | BCK | 46% | 129 |
| #5 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 44% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -Hifo- | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Prof.Leon | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | BCK | 46% | 129 |
| #5 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 44% | 163 |
| #6 | Dani | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BCK | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Prof.Leon | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof.Leon | 380 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | BCK | 303 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 184 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | クソ神 | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | -Hifo- | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof.Leon | +1.23 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | BCK | +0.89 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | クソ神 | +0.06 | 48 | 74 |
| #4 | Hobbyboss | -0.34 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | -0.62 | 70 | 61 |





