








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3405 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2645 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,169 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hifo- | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Prof.Leon | 49% | 82 |
| #3 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 48% | 339 |
| #4 | Hobbyboss | 46% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hifo- | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Prof.Leon | 49% | 82 |
| #3 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 48% | 339 |
| #4 | Hobbyboss | 46% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Hobbyboss | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Prof.Leon | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | 308 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Prof.Leon | 250 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hobbyboss | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | -Hifo- | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BCK | +0.91 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Prof.Leon | +0.70 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Hobbyboss | -0.22 | 51 | 62 |
| #4 | Perry the Platypus *<[]:-) | -0.54 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | -Hifo- | -1.89 | 68 | 59 |





