








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 14% |
| Smokes | 771 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 968 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,442,482 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | Yarc. | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | Madelyn Climb | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | Jonah Lee | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | grama | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | 23 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | VEETS5 | 20 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | keith scuba <3 | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Jonah Lee | 15 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 14 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 306 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | VEETS5 | 194 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Remex | 178 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jokedown | 148 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jonah Lee | 137 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonah Lee | +5.46 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Jokedown | +5.37 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Remex | +3.31 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | Glooby | +2.13 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | UN1TY (INTP-A) | +1.91 | 77 | 21 |





