








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6518 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7250 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6203 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7450 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,763,549 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5952 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Maple67 | 82% | 50 |
| #2 | FinnaNutInButts | 81% | 57 |
| #3 | Jokedown | 66% | 71 |
| #4 | keith scuba <3 | 64% | 55 |
| #5 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 62% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Madelyn Climb | 57% | 58 |
| #8 | VEETS5 | 55% | 76 |
| #9 | Glooby | 53% | 93 |
| #10 | UN1TY (INTP-A) | 53% | 171 |
| #11 | kim sexler feet | 53% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | 36 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 34 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | VEETS5 | 31 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | Kaiser | 21 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Madelyn Climb | 14 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 398 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | VEETS5 | 312 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Glooby | 266 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jokedown | 229 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kaiser | 193 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | +3.58 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | Remex | +3.47 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | FinnaNutInButts | +2.56 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | !Maple67 | +1.91 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | Glooby | +1.15 | 63 | 64 |





