








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3744 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8043 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4209 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5549 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,428,710 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4814 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | 68% | 102 |
| #2 | Remex | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Madelyn Climb | 63% | 100 |
| #4 | Kaiser | 63% | 88 |
| #5 | VEETS5 | 57% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | geek hard | 54% | 102 |
| #9 | kim sexler feet | 52% | 122 |
| #10 | Jonah Lee | 50% | 131 |
| #11 | Yarc. | 50% | 70 |
| #12 | grama | 48% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | 63 | 0.0322 |
| #2 | Jonah Lee | 51 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 40 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | VEETS5 | 28 | 0.0207 |
| #5 | geek hard | 25 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i HIT LVL 200 WOWOW | 503 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jonah Lee | 427 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | geek hard | 408 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jokedown | 358 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | VEETS5 | 213 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokedown | +6.79 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Remex | +6.10 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | Jonah Lee | +4.67 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | grama | +2.68 | 73 | 21 |
| #5 | fauci | +2.32 | 74 | 19 |





