








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 23% |
| Smokes | 314 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,493 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jackyboy | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | kakashi hatake | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | Chase | 30% | 20 |
| #11 | SKELETRIX ISLAND LOVER 666 | 29% | 31 |
| #12 | Snugs | 21% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speshul Playur | 10 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Tom Logan | 8 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Snugs | 8 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Chase | 6 | 0.0158 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom Logan | 162 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 107 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chase | 105 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | Speshul Playur | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | SKELETRIX ISLAND LOVER 666 | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |





