








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 18% |
| Smokes | 977 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 785 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 876 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,039 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dempa | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | m | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | ProXXi | 72% | 43 |
| #4 | CyZiK | 63% | 75 |
| #5 | Slamala | 58% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CyZiK | 63% | 75 |
| #5 | Slamala | 58% | 99 |
| #6 | Nisse | 56% | 50 |
| #7 | Donaldo Trumpiano | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | ✪sh1fter | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slamala | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Nisse | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | CyZiK | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ✪sh1fter | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slamala | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | ProXXi | 166 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | CyZiK | 85 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nisse | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | m | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyZiK | +2.91 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | ProXXi | +2.90 | 89 | 74 |
| #3 | m | +1.56 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | dempa | +1.13 | 82 | 43 |
| #5 | Nisse | +0.57 | 67 | 61 |





