








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2912 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2898 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2237 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,640 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Francesco Ferrari | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | DaN-... | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | LemmyDos | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Walter P. Malone | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | PROMOTED | 61% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lapiru | 53% | 60 |
| #11 | OG @ POWERMETER 1700W | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | Ivory | 45% | 42 |
| #13 | Gurk 42 | 43% | 14 |
| #14 | Naddelx3 | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROMOTED | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Walter P. Malone | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | LemmyDos | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Monster | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Chenn | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monster | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chenn | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Walter P. Malone | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lapiru | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Francesco Ferrari | 34 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | +2.71 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Gurk 42 | +2.37 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | DaN-... | +2.03 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | Francesco Ferrari | +0.80 | 49 | 52 |
| #5 | Monster | +0.49 | 60 | 63 |





