








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2710 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4596 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3920 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3409 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,673,921 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Francesco Ferrari | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Egg Yolk | 58% | 124 |
| #3 | Nathan_NTK | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Walter P. Malone | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | DerFehringer | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Gurk 42 | 46% | 26 |
| #14 | Ivory | 45% | 56 |
| #15 | Nörte | 42% | 38 |
| #16 | Nosferaschu | 40% | 47 |
| #17 | Naddelx3 | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | PROMOTED | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Egg Yolk | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Walter P. Malone | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | St0rmb0rn™ | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | 743 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Egg Yolk | 316 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | St0rmb0rn™ | 311 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | PROMOTED | 268 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Walter P. Malone | 227 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | +3.26 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Gurk 42 | +1.10 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Crankill | +1.05 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Walter P. Malone | +0.83 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Francesco Ferrari | +0.61 | 50 | 53 |





