








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1530 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,425 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Louis | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Ethan. | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | NotToddTheToad | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Yahtzee! | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | OrangeSlices | 52% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OrangeSlices | 29 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Yahtzee! | 23 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Daqqqy | 17 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | sniper btw | 12 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Lunk | 7 | 0.0077 |





