








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




175 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3969 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5875 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4846 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,751 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menchies | 52% | 88 |
| #2 | Daqqqy | 48% | 330 |
| #3 | evan | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | Ethan. | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Yahtzee! | 46% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yahtzee! | 126 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | Daqqqy | 111 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | Ajc09 | 34 | 0.0290 |
| #4 | Menchies | 28 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | FETUS DELETUS | 23 | 0.0298 |





